Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Limit to Authenticity, and Letting Things Be

I’m not really in the mood to write today.  I read a lot of good things.  I reblogged some of them.  One article, I’d like to share, but I fear that it would offend a lot of people, and I am in no mood to qualify things, or to explain where I agree with the article, and where I disagree (or where I am supposed to disagree).  Maybe I’m a wimp.  Or maybe there is a limit on how authentic I as a blogger can be.

“Then why did you write today, James, if you’re not in the mood to write?”  Because this is a commitment I have made.  When my next blogging anniversary comes, I may pursue a different policy.  I may just focus on writing book reviews and my weekly quiet time readings through biblical books.  I’ve not been particularly comfortable blogging about my church’s Bible study.  The same goes for my church’s weekly service.  It has nothing to do with my level of enjoyment, for I actually enjoy the latter.  I just get tired of critiquing and analyzing, of asking what I believe and why, of probing whether or not I am a true Christian, of nitpicking Christianity, of asking where I agree or disagree with a sermon or song.  Often, I just want to let things and people be, without offering my comment.

Plus, I am a pretty shy person nowadays, even online.  I used to be able to be vulnerable online.  Nowadays, I’m reluctant to do so.  One reason is that I’m tired of writing the same stock posts about my problems with Christianity.  An internet troll once said that maybe my problems would not look as bad to me, if I did not write about them all the time.  Well, to each his or her own!  In this season, I’m inclined to agree with the troll, at least when it comes to myself!  (There I go, always having to qualify what I am saying, always feeling as if I am walking on eggshells!)

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