Friday, April 13, 2012

The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships 13

I'm still reading The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships, by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. In my latest reading, Sean said some things with which I identified.

Sean talked about when he was taking piano lessons and he wanted the fame and recognition for a job well-done that other piano players received, but he did not want to put in the practice time that was necessary for him to become better; moreover, he beat himself up over the mistakes that he made, rather than recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and using those mistakes as opportunities for growth.

Sean also talked about when he was working for a pre-school. His boss was calm and soft-spoken at first but got to the point where he did not like Sean, and a stern look from the boss could easily discourage Sean from finishing his lunch! Sean also told about a time when the school was under-staffed and he had to watch a bunch of kids. Sean was busy arbitrating fights among one pair of kids, so he did not notice kids climbing on the picnic table, which was a no-no because the kids could hurt themselves and that would get the pre-school in trouble. Sean's employer yelled at Sean. Reflecting back, Sean thought that perhaps he shouldn't have been afraid to ask for help.

I identified with a lot of what Sean said: desiring recognition without putting in the great effort that was necessary to get my name out or to do quality work; beating myself up over mistakes; being demoralized when someone does not like me; otherwise nice people disliking me; not having eyes on the back of my head; etc.

Regarding mistakes, I do not entirely know how to cope with them. When I try not to beat myself up over them, I then think that perhaps I should identify where I am at fault, or I fear that my mistakes will lead me somewhere disastrous (i.e., not having social skills will keep me from employment, and so I won't be able to support myself, etc.).

I hope that this book can show me a better way to look at my mistakes.

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