In this post, I’ll be using as a lauch-pad Rachel Held Evans’ recent post, So how was your Easter…really?
I’ll quote Rachel’s post, then I’ll discuss how her thoughts resonate
or don’t resonate with my own experience of Easter this year.
“I had my moments of faith: at the little Catholic
church down the road on Good Friday, pressing my forehead into the
wooden cross at the front of the sanctuary and silently praying, ‘God, I
don’t understand this, but I believe, and I am thankful.’”
I went to a Catholic service with my Mom and her husband on Saturday
night. Were there elements of the service that I could believe or
identify with spiritually? Well, one piece of the liturgy talked about
restoring fallen people to innocence. I do not know if the
story of the Fall in Genesis 3 is historical—-certainly many scientists
and historians do not think so! But I cannot escape the fact that the
world is imperfect, and that includes me. We have all done things that
we shouldn’t, and we crave wholeness, or innocence.
I felt a little put-off by the part of the service in which we were
asking saints to intercede for us before God. For one, after watching
the depiction of St. Cyril of Alexandria in the movie Agora
last week, I have my doubts that all of the saints were really that
saintly! Second, as a Protestant, I have a hard time talking to anyone
in prayer except for God, plus I am leery about praying to any
intercessor except for Jesus Christ. But, as I thought some
more, I could appreciate the ritual of talking to the saints of the
past. Many of us want people to pray for us. We ask for other
Christians to pray for us and to show us that they care. What’s wrong,
then, with thinking that our Christian family goes back many centuries,
and that saints in the past pray for us? I’m not sure if I buy that,
but I can understand how such a concept would give Catholics a feeling
of connection.
There was a baptism at the Catholic church, and the initiate was
asked if he renounced Satan with all of his lies. I wondered if I did
so. Christianity essentially portrays sexual desire (“lusting after a
woman”) as adultery of the heart, but I have a hard time renouncing
that. It just seems unnatural to ask any man to do so! But
does Satan lie to me? When I am taught to look to people and things for
my sense of self-worth, is that not a lie of Satan? When I am tempted
to disregard the dignity of others, am I not being accosted by one of
Satan’s lies?
“I had my moments of doubt: in the evangelical
church of my childhood on Easter morning, struggling to listen to the
familiar resurrection story that suddenly strikes me as a rather
inventive way to escape our fear of death.”
I especially felt this way at the Catholic service: I wondered if
Jesus truly rose from the dead, or if that were merely one religious
story amidst a host of religious stories that are in the world—-many of
which Christians would consider untrue because they fall outside of
Christianity. I decided to just kick back and observe what
other people believe, and I found that I was especially moved by the
music of the service—-how it was loud and powerful, and thereby
majestic.
My Mom has struggled with Christianity, and, after the service, she
remarked that she believes that something happened on Easter morning to
give people hope. To that, I say “Why not?” I believe that
there are things that occur in all sorts of religions or in life that
give people hope—-hope that the future will be brighter, or that they
can have a new beginning. It’s even built into nature, as spring follows winter. Perhaps that sort of event occurred for the early Christians.
“I had my moments of connection: holding hands with
my neighbors during the Lord’s prayer, sharing a meal with family,
watching the lady in the wheelchair in the pew in front of me pull
herself up, determined to stand through ‘Christ the Lord Has Risen
Today,’ seeing fellow Christians raise their hands in joy.”
I especially felt connected during the passing-of-the-peace part of
the Catholic service. I often dread that part of the service. In fact,
I was thinking of staying home specifically to avoid that part of the
service! I fear being ignored, or extending my hand at the
wrong time and getting rebuffed. But the people at the Catholic service
were friendly, and so I felt connected.
“I had my moments of disconnect: sitting out the
Eucharist because I’m not Catholic, hearing the gospel reduced to
salvation from hell, welcomes that felt patronizing from people who have
been praying that I come to my senses and go back to believing,
behaving, and voting just like them.”
Probably the only time I felt this was when the priest was
saying that Christ brings forgiveness to believers. I thought, “What
about everyone else?” And what about someone like me, who is not even
sure what he believes?