Happiness

At the Presbyterian Church this morning, the title of the sermon was "You Can Be Happy."

The sermon had some things that I've heard in other settings, but also some unexpected twists and turns. The pastor referred to a celebrity who had a lot of earthly riches, and yet this celebrity said that he wasn't happy. I've encountered this sort of motif in other places. Herbert Armstrong referred to a rich man who had lots of money, and yet he lamented that he couldn't hold together a marriage. There are movies and television shows that say that money cannot buy happiness. When churches appeal to this motif, I think they're advertising: they're saying that people don't get happiness by pursuing what the world offers, but rather by embracing and following the faith of the church. And, throughout this service, the following things were presented as the path to happiness: praising God for his blessings, a touch from God, times of solitude with God, and service to God.

Do I buy that? To an extent. I am definitely discontent with aspects of my life, but I definitely appreciate my blessings, especially when I realize that I can lose them. As far as a touch from God goes, I'm not sure if I can control that. There are Christians and other theists who experience what they consider to be a clear touch from God---a sign of God's love and care. I'd like to think that a touch from God for me is whenever I read, hear, or experience something that makes me feel better and strong enough to keep on keeping on---it doesn't have to be out of the ordinary. But I have issues with expecting that sort of thing from God because what about the times when I don't feel God or anything good in my life---when I am lonely and feel hopeless? Where is God's touch at those times? On times of solitude with God, I do find that talking with God throughout the day helps me to get through it with more inner tranquility. On service to God, I can look back at the time when I did church work and Intervarsity work and say that I did not feel fulfilled doing that stuff. I felt more fulfilled working at a food pantry when I was in high school. I think my problem is that evangelicals like to dramatize service---in their eyes, it's not enough for me to give a message, but I have to be powerful and demonstrate the anointing of the Holy Spirit, bringing souls to Christ. But helping people at a food pantry is more low-key, and so I find it more fulfilling.

For me, having a religious life is not enough for happiness. I was religious through much of my life, but that didn't make me happy. What made me happy was when I continued my relationship with God, but also learned some social skills so that I wasn't alienating everyone around me. I can't say that everyone likes me now---academia, and I'd say a lot of society in general---are very cynical places that set conditions on their love. But praying to God when much of the world was against me did not make me happy. I needed to learn some social skills.

I don't like making happiness conditional on externals, for what will happen when those externals go away? Will I fall into utter despair? This sort of question makes me reluctant to enjoy externals, when I actually should feel free to enjoy them. There are externals that make me happy. Christ living within me does not make me happy all of the time. It hasn't in the past. But when you combine that with going to a work-place that has friendly people, or being around family and cute kitties, then there's a recipe for my happiness. Living away from home, I had a hard time being happy amidst a cold world, especially since I came home to an empty apartment. Prayer helped me to cope, but it didn't make me happy. Now, there are still times when I feel alienated in the outside world, but I come home to family and some nice kitty cats.

Where the pastor's sermon went on an unexpected turn was when he said that Jesus had many of the things that the world says would make us happy: fame, popularity, etc. I'm not sure where the pastor was going with this. Maybe his point was that Jesus did not find happiness in these things. Rather, he found it in his relationship with God, in service to others, etc. Maybe if I was as sure that God exists and loves me as Jesus was, I would be happy. As far as service to others goes, even Jesus saw a need to go on personal retreats, or on retreats with his disciples, so continual service did not make him happy. But, even though Jesus was social, Jesus himself felt alienation, especially since many did not appreciate him, and his own disciples did not understand him. But was Jesus happy? If so, why?