Posts
I’m having a hard time sleeping right now, and I have to get up in three hours. Hopefully, blogging will be the lullaby that lulls me to sleep!
I was thinking of something after I read Rachel Held Evans’ post, On Resenting Anne Jackson. I clicked on Rachel’s link to Anne Jackson’s blog (www.flowerdust.net), and I saw the provocative title to Anne Jackson’s book, which is published by Zondervan: Mad Church Disease – Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic. An advertisement for the book asked, “Is the church interfering with your spiritual journey?” And you can read a free chapter on forgiveness, which may relate to forgiving the church.
It seems as if books are coming out that speak to my problems with church. I’m not so narcissistic as to suggest that they’re catering to me specifically, but there have been many times when I’ve wondered if anyone cared about the sorts of problems that I have with church, or if others had them too. Now, there are such titles as Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, by Adam McHugh. I read some of the Amazon reviews for that book (see here), and people complained that their fellow Christians deemed them less godly because they were introverted rather than extroverted. Since many in the evangelical sub-culture equate extroversion with love, it’s no surprise that introverts feel on the margins. It’s about time that people are pointing that out!
I used to google “Introverts in the Church” repeatedly, only to get no results. I thought somebody should write that book! I’d have done it myself, but my book would mostly be a rant or a plea for attention, not a constructive suggestion on how to deal with the issue. Now, 2009 has just passed, and a book with that title has finally been published!
But here’s my problem: am I still interested? Back when I was looking for a way to make evangelicalism work for me, I was definitely interested in an evangelical book that would address my alienation from church, while including the testimonies of evangelicals with similar issues. Now, my agenda is a little different. I’m bitter against evangelicalism for a variety of reasons, and I’ve found things that satisfy me more: Latin mass and Alcoholics Anonymous. I feel like Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi, when Luke asked him to become good: “It is too late for me, my son.” It’s possible for a person to be on a path for so many years, and to get to the point where he’s hardened on that path.
I’d like to get to the point where I’m a little more open-minded. I should read those books! I should read Rachel’s book when it comes out. There are plenty of people who want to live in faith, without totally embracing the narrow-mindedness of conservative Christianity. And they can offer more to the dialogue than rants, for they propose constructive ways to look at the situation. Maybe I’d agree with them. Maybe I’d disagree at times. But I hope I’m not totally hardened against hearing what they have to say.
