When to Be Mean...

On a Christian dating site, a conservative woman told a liberal woman that liberalism is a mental illness. The liberal woman took that to mean she was being called mentally ill, so she accused the conservative woman of being un-Christlike. I posted the following:
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It happens all the time on these boards. Person A puts Person B down, and Person B is offended, thinking that Person A isn't following Christ. Then, Person A says that he is following Christ because Christ put down people (e.g., the Pharisees).

The problem is that both sides have their points. On the one hand, the Bible tells us to love others, to be kind and gentle, to do unto others as we would have others to do unto us.

On the other hand, Jesus called the Pharisees "fools." He drove the moneychangers out of the temple. Paul referred to the Galatians as "foolish Galatians."

So how do you reconcile these things? Is there a time to be kind and gentle, and a time to be insulting? Can one be loving while putting a person down? When is putting a person down inappropriate? When has the line been crossed?

I'm not taking sides in these conflicts, nor (on the opposite end) am I acting as if I'm high, mighty, and above it all. This is something I truly wonder about.
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I'll let you all think about this. Tomorrow, I'll tell you some of the answers I got! I'll keep the names and usernames anonymous, though.