In my latest reading of The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth, M. Scott Peck talked about the challenges of going into therapy, as well as needy people.
I
could identify with what Peck was saying. First, let's take the
challenges of going into therapy. Why are people so afraid to receive
therapy? And why, once they go into therapy, do they talk around issues
rather than just being honest? I can't speak for anyone else, but I
can offer some ideas. I think that there are a variety of reasons that
people fear going into therapy. They may want to feel that they are
doing okay because, otherwise, they'd be racked with guilt, wondering if
they are doing things right. Perhaps they're afraid that the therapist
would rebuke them, or recommend that they do things that they don't
want to do, out of fear, or doubt about their own abilities, or
resentment. In my opinion, a therapist should be gentle. Some are and
some are not.
Peck talks about barriers that inhibit people from
undertaking therapy, and he contends that depression can get them on the
right track. If people get to the point where they're depressed, they
want things to get better, and they have some sense that the map that
they're using to get through life is flawed, they may be open to
therapy.
Second, let's talk about needy people. Peck says on page 99:
"People
with this disorder, passive dependent people, are so busy seeking to be
loved that they have no energy left to love. They are like starving
people, scrounging wherever they can for food, and with no food of their
own to give to others."
I think that a number of evangelicals
believe that becoming a Christian and having a personal relationship
with God will take care of this problem. When people become Christians
and cultivate their relationship with God, the spiel runs, then they
will feel loved by God and thus won't be as needy. Then they'll be able
to love others. Perhaps there's something to this. Maybe it even
works in a number of people's lives. But it's not easy for everyone,
for people cannot see God; consequently, they may think that they need
love from a flesh-and-blood human being to feel complete. But how can
needy people get over their neediness, which hinders healthy
relationships?