Holier-Than-Thou vs. Empathy

I hate when I'm reading a person expressing his problems with religion, and some holier-than-thou Christian responds, "Well, you obviously have not been born again!"  I much more admire the Christians who demonstrate compassion.  And, by "compassion", I don't mean, "I pity you because you're lost", but compassion that actually contains empathy.

Or here's a question: Do I actually hate when holier-than-thou Christians respond as they do?  After all, that gives me a chance to throw tomatoes at them (in my mind, of course)!  I have to admit that there is a pleasure that comes over me when people I don't like act in an obnoxious manner, for that validates to me that I'm right to dislike them!  Still, I should focus more on being inspired to do good, by the example of the Christians (and others) who are kind and empathetic.