Sunday, January 13, 2013

New Perspective

At church this morning, the pastor told a story about a man whose mother had Alzheimer's.  The man came to accept his mother's condition.  Even though he was upset that she did not remember him, he realized that his mother also did not remember the people who hurt her.  And, while the mother complained about imaginary people, the man reflected that at least his mother was not lonely, since she had imaginary friends.  The man also tried to listen to his mother and to meet her needs.

I don't know what it would be like were my Mom not to remember me.  I would probably feel really bad about that.  From my standpoint, I cannot recommend to people who experience this situation what they should do or think.  People have to find their own way.  But I still liked my pastor's story because it highlighted the change that can come over a person once he or she gains a new perspective and becomes reconciled with realities of life.


  1. My neighbour (age 85) has senile dementia. She gets distressed about her son (age 55), who is mentally handicapped and has not lived with her for decades, he is in a local home. He used to be brought to visit her, but that has stopped because she can't cope. She often imagines he is still living with her and is worried he has gone out and not come home late at night. When it is explained to her he is alright and living elsewhere, she gets upset because she thinks he should be living with her because she is his mother, and they are keeping him away from her.

    This is surely a situation that is simply rotten, and no 'becoming reconciled with realities' can make it tolerable. That when she is dead and in Heaven it will be ok, though true, looks to be beside the point to that.

  2. Thanks for your comment, Davey. That's why in my post I said that it's not my place to recommend to people what they should or should not do, and that people should find their own way of dealing with situations. That one guy my pastor mentioned thought that he was seeing a bright side to his mother's situation, and that gave him a sense of peace that enabled him to cope and be a better presence to her. But, as you say, there are situations in which there isn't a bright side. All I can say is that, for me personally, it's important to become reconciled with reality, somehow. Just because that principle does not work in every case, that does not mean it lacks merit as a principle. But I know it would be hard for me to follow were I to experience certain situations----if my Mom were to have Alzheimer's, for example.


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