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At Latin mass this past Sunday, the priest spoke about the parable of the Pharisee and the tax-collector, which is found in Luke 18:9-14.
Often, people say that the Pharisee was proud and that his mind wasn’t on God when he prayed, but rather on himself. Yet, the Pharisee thanked God that he was righteous. Still, he didn’t have much humility, for he looked down on the tax-collector.
The priest presented humility and confession of sin as a pathway to spiritual renewal. Maybe it is, if it’s done right. Personally, I’ve not found beating myself up because I’m a flawed human being as a pathway to spiritual-anything. At the same time, I do wish that I could be more polite to certain people, even when I feel agitated. I wish I had inner peace. And I have to try consciously to help others, when I’d rather be in my own little world.
I don’t see repentance as ceasing to do evil, and doing everything right—even if that’s the definition that crops up in the Bible every now and then (though, to its credit, Isaiah 1:17 says we should cease doing evil and learn to do good, which implies a learning process, not having our acts together right now). But I do hope to become better. And I look to a higher power to remove my character defects, which is a gradual process. Will he do so? I hope. In the meantime, I don’t beat myself up for my imperfections, but I try to do better.
Some may think that the tax-collector was beating himself up, for he hit his chest. But, as the priest noted, the publican was hoping for something good: God’s mercy. A better life. There’s a degree of self-love that comes with a relationship with God, for people who seek God desire something good for themselves, even if they don’t deserve it.
The priest also said that he used to swear up-and-down that he’d never become like his father, and yet he finds that his father’s personality is a part of him, and he’s happy about that. I found this interesting, even if I didn’t understand it completely. Was the priest glad that his father was a part of him because his father had passed away, and the priest is happy to have something that reminds him of dad—even if it’s his negative personality traits?
Not that my readers would know the answer to this question. It just interested me.
