Testimonies

Every now and then at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York, I'd hear a personal testimony. Most of them I don't remember. One of them was particularly powerful. And I felt like walking out at another one!

I don't like grading people's testimonies because how can you put a grade on someone's experiences and insights? Whether they resonate with me or not, they're important to the testifier, and maybe they can touch somebody. In various academic settings, I've often gotten the vibe that others don't deem my thoughts to be deep enough. Notwithstanding its popularity in certain academic circles, I absolutely hate that one statement that Brevard Childs made to a student who made a low grade on a religion paper: "You want to write a good exegesis paper? Become a deeper person!" (or something like that). And, of course, evangelicalism tends to value dramatic, gut-wrenching personal testimonies, as if everyone was hooked on drugs and sex before coming to Christ. I praise God that he has delivered people from such a lifestyle, but when they self-righteously ask "What's your testimony?" in an attempt to determine if someone is a genuine Christian, then they are overstepping their bounds, in my humble opinion.

The testimony that I found especially powerful was by a woman who was tutoring people in a Redeemer community service program. In her experience, she struggled with a variety of emotions: pride at her success, disappointment at her failure, and anger at the fact that so many talented people were falling through the cracks. The whole church thunderously applauded the humility, vulnerability, and (at the same time) hope that came across in her testimony.

Then there was a testimony that made me pretty mad! It was by one of those beauty queen types, and it was about how she broke up with her boyfriend because he wasn't Christian enough. According to her story, she was initially reluctant to go deeper into Christianity because she was afraid she'd lose her boyfriend, but the couple met with church counselors and found that they had different perspectives on life. As a result, she decided to break up with her boyfriend. If she went on to tell us that she then got a nice-looking Christian boyfriend (Isn't God good?), I probably would've left the room! But she didn't say that, and I wanted to hear the sermon, so I stayed.

But I didn't applaud at her testimony. And, as I looked around the room, I saw that there were others who weren't applauding, either! Most did, since that was polite, but her reception wasn't exactly thunderous!

I'm sure some of this comes from my own insecurity: both my positive reaction to the first testimony, and my negative response to the second one.