Finishing Further Along the Road Less Traveled

I finished M. Scott Peck's Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth.  In this post, I'll use as my starting-point two passages.

On pages 225-226, Peck states:

"As a friend of mine once put it, 'The sexual and the spiritual parts of our personality lie so close together that it is hardly possible to arouse one without arousing the other.'  I do not think it an accident that when this woman became able to give herself wholeheartedly to God, in very short order she became able to give herself wholeheartedly to a human partner, praise the Lord!  I have another friend, a priest, who actually uses this phenomenon as a yardstick of conversion.  He tells me that if a conversion occurs in a previously sexually repressed individual and is not accompanied by some kind of sexual awakening or blossoming, then he has reason to doubt the depth of the conversion."

On pages 247-248, Peck talks about a woman he knew who had schizophrenia:

"When I left my consulting position at the clinic, she continued to drop by my home twice a year for a free visit of fifteen to thirty minutes.  Today, at age fifty, she demonstrates all the signs of moderate, well-entrenched, chronic schizophrenia.  The course of her disease over eighteen years has been consistent and stable.  From a traditional psychiatric point of view, she has neither deteriorated nor made any progress whatsoever.  It would be easy to regard her as a chronic lost cause.  However, over the course of those years, she has moved from skepticism to a tentative interest in religion to a deep faith.  She now attends Mass at least weekly.  Her theology is not in the least bizarre; it is, at best I can ascertain, not only traditional and sound but quite sophisticated.  In return for my extremely minor ministrations, she regularly prays for me.  I think I have, by far, the better part of the bargain.  Many would regard her as a wasted sort of life in which there has been no progress.  From my point of view, while there has been no improvement in her schizophrenia or growth in her social skills, there has been an immense growth in her soul.  Something very profound has slowly been happening within her."

I hated the first passage and loved the second.  Regarding the first passage, I don't believe that I have to justify my conversion to another human being.  Sometimes, my religious passion and sex drive are strong; sometimes, they're not so strong.  Whether there's a correlation between the two, I don't know.  But I will say this: They have nothing to do with God's love for me, and the privilege that God gives me to take refuge in God.

Regarding the second passage, I like it because Peck is saying that spirituality has provided a woman with depth of soul, even though people may judge her as inadequate and her social skills leave much to be desired.  So a person doesn't have to be a social butterfly to have a legitimate spirituality?  I hope that's the case!

At the same time, I think that it's beautiful when spirituality can lead a person to give himself or herself to another.  It's also beautiful when spirituality can give a person deep thoughts about life.  I can't entirely say that my religion does these things for me, though, but rather it provides me with entertainment as I discuss with myself the meaning and ramifications of biblical passages.  It's like the Wallace Shawn character said in My Dinner with Andre: he enjoys reading reviews of plays, and then reviews of those reviews.  There are many times when I feel too dead inside to move beyond that point.  And feeling dead inside, in my opinion, is much better than having bitterness and resentment----or at least it feels better!

Not What He Expected!

I got a chuckle out of a story that I read on pages 155-156 of M. Scott Peck's Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth. 

A man came up to the minister after the church service and told him that his sermon revolutionized his life.  The minister asked which part of his sermon did so.  And the man responded that it was when the minister said "That completes this first part of what I wanted to tell you and now it's time I moved on to the second part of my sermon."  The man said that this made him realize that he had come to the end of the first part of his life, and he now needed to proceed to the second part.

Lol.  That's probably not what the minister expected to hear!

Differences Between The Road Less Traveled and Further Along the Road Less Traveled

On pages 156-157 of Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth (copyright 1993), M. Scott Peck states:

"I became a Christian several years after The Road Less Traveled was published----and remember, the very first sentence in that book is the great Buddhist truth 'Life is difficult'----although subconsciously I had been tending in that direction for quite some time, and The Road Less Traveled is full of Christian concepts.  An important man said to me, 'Scotty, it was so clever of you the way you disguised your Christianity in The Road Less Traveled in order to get the Christian message across to people.'  And I replied honestly, 'Well, I didn't disguise my Christianity.  I wasn't a Christian.'"

Indeed, my impression is that there are differences between The Road Less Traveled and Further Along the Road Less Traveled.  I'll talk about three issues in which this appears to be the case, while in some cases wrestling with the question of whether or not it truly is the case.

First, in The Road Less Traveled, Peck talks about humans growing to become like God in terms of having power in a number of situations.  In Further Along the Road Less Traveled, however, Peck criticizes Theomania, which is "the delusion that we human beings can be God" (page 192).  Now, one can argue that Peck is not really contradicting himself but is talking about two separate issues.  When Peck talks about human beings becoming like God, he means that therapy can help us to grow and arrive at a state in which we can navigate our way through life (including life's hardships) with a degree of poise and control.  When Peck criticizes Theomania, he's saying that human beings should accept that life does not always turn out as they'd like.  Can both concepts co-exist?  I'd say that they can, in the form of the Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."  Overall, though, I'd say that Further Along the Road Less Traveled has more of a God-focus than The Road Less Traveled.

Second, in The Road Less Traveled, Peck speaks about homosexuality as if it's a condition that needs to be cured.  In Further Along the Road Less Traveled, however, Peck acknowledges that homosexuality is complex, as some are homosexual due to nurture (i.e, dysfunctional families), some due to nature (genetics), and some due to a combination of the two.  Peck says on pages 104-105 that "when we regard homosexuality as just this or just that, we do violence to the subtlety and complexity of God's creation."  In response to the question of whether or not homosexuals should be ordained as priests, Peck says that "It depends on the homosexual" (page 105).

Third, Peck talks more about the afterlife in Further Along the Road Less Traveled.  He says that the Christian (or, in the case of purgatory, Catholic) belief in a post-mortem heaven, hell, and purgatory makes sense to him, but he's drawn more to C.S. Lewis' depiction of hell than he is to the notion that God will torment God's own creation forever and ever, without possibility of redemption.  Peck refers to Lewis' story about a professor who did not like heaven because there was no room there for him to advance above others, and so he chose hell.  Peck says on page 171: "My vision of Hell is distinctly like that of Lewis.  The gates of Hell are wide open.  People can walk right out of Hell, and the reason they are in Hell is that they choose not to."

The Four Stages of Spiritual Growth

In my latest reading of Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth, M. Scott Peck discussed four stages of spiritual growth.  Stage One is called "chaotic/antisocial" and it is a selfish stage, in which people are unprincipled and manipulate others for their own benefit.  Stage Two is "formal/institutional" and is marked by an embrace of institutional rules, in many cases in rejection of the previous chaotic/antisocial stage (think religious conversion).  Stage Three is "skeptic/individual", and it is a rejection of religion in favor of science, without repudiation of morality.  And Stage Four is "mystical/communal", which sees interconnectedness and values paradox and mystery.  The transition from Stage Three to Stage Four occurs when people look for truth and end up finding beauty, which "strangely resembles many of those primitive myths and superstitions their Stage Two parents or grandparents believed in" (page 125).  According to Peck, people can have within them elements of all four of these stages, or they can be partly in one stage and partly in another.

For Peck, a mystical orientation influences how one interprets teachings of one's religion, and there is a difference between how adherents to Stage Two and adherents to Stage Four understand the same teachings.  The statement that "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom", for example, is understood by Stage Two people to mean that "When you start fearing that big cop in the sky, you really wise up", and by Stage Four people to mean that "The awe of God shows you the way to enlightenment" (pages 125-126).  The statement "Jesus is my Savior" is interpreted by Stage Two Christians to mean that Jesus rescues us from trouble when we call on his name, and by Stage Four Christians to mean that "Jesus, through His life and death, taught me the way that I myself must follow for my salvation" (page 126). According to Peck, Stage Two and Stage Four are both correct, in a sense.

(Conservative Christians would probably object to Peck's characterizations of the "Jesus is my Savior" positions, saying that Jesus is Savior because he forgives people of sin, not so much because Jesus delivers us from peril.  They'd also dismiss the notion that we're saved by following Jesus' example as salvation by works.  Their objections would be valid.  And yet, focusing on Jesus as one who forgives us because we broke rules is a Stage Two sort of focus, since Stage Two emphasizes rules, and so the stages are still relevant to the conceptualization of Jesus as Savior.  And saying that we're saved by dying to self does not necessarily mean that we have to do certain meritorious deeds to earn a place in the good afterlife, but rather that spiritual liberation comes to us when we die to our narcissism.)

The interpretation of Scripture was a significant theme in my latest reading of Peck, as Peck gained practical insight that was based on certain biblical passages, although his approach to the Bible was not literalist or fundamentalist.  The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Bridesmaids in Matthew 25, in which the wise bridesmaids refuse to share their lamp-oil with the foolish bridesmaids who failed to bring enough (with the result that the foolish bridesmaids were excluded from the marriage feast), teaches that we can only do our own preparation, but we cannot prepare for others; others are responsible for their own preparation, even though we can try to give them a motive to prepare themselves.  As an example, Peck mentions doing homework and earning a degree. (Peck said that he initially regarded the wise bridesmaids as selfish, but then he realized that the parable is teaching a valuable lesson.)  Peck interprets the story of Lot's wife looking back and turning into a pillar of salt in light of the principle that we become "pickled" when we are continually looking back (page 113).  And Peck interprets the akeda story in Genesis 22 (in which Abraham is about to sacrifice his son Isaac) in light of the principle that we eventually have to let go of our children and turn them over to God, rather than holding on to them.  I thought that Peck's interpretation of the akeda was a stretch, but I liked how he interpreted the other biblical passages.

Where am I, in terms of the stages of spiritual growth?  I'd say that all four stages are in me, on some level.  But, if I were to try to plot where I am, it's probably in between Stage Three and Stage Four.  I am somewhat of a skeptic when it comes to religion.  At the same time, I value spirituality, and I look for some way to be spiritual without being a fundamentalist.  But people I know who lean towards mysticism seem to me to be pulling their religion out of their rear-ends, playing fast and loose with what the Bible says in attempting to reconcile it with their own beliefs.  That offends my Stage Two and my Stage Three sensibilities!   

Narcissism

On page 67 of Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth, M. Scott Peck states the following:

"When psychiatrists talk about injuries to pride, we call them narcissistic injuries.  And on any scale of narcissistic injuries, death is the ultimate.  We suffer little narcissistic injuries all the time: a classmate calls us stupid, for example; we're the last to be chosen for someone's volleyball team; colleges turn us down; employers criticize us; we get fired; our children reject us.  As a result of these narcissistic injuries, either we become embittered or we grow.  But death is the big one.  Nothing threats our narcissistic attachment to ourselves and our self-conceit more than our impending obliteration.  So it is utterly natural that we should fear death."

On page 68, Peck says: "...the further we proceed in diminishing our narcissism, our self-centeredness and sense of self-importance, the more we discover ourselves becoming not only less fearful of death, but also less fearful of life.  And we become more loving.  No longer burdened by the need to protect ourselves, we are able to lift our eyes off ourselves and to truly recognize others."

As Peck notes, we all have narcissism.  I plead guilty!  I think that there are some areas of disappointment in which I can look back and learn from what I did inappropriately.  In some areas, however, I have no idea what I could have done in place of what I did.  If I made a mistake because I didn't know how to do something, was that my fault?  Moreover, I find social situations to be a pain because I don't know what to say, so I get ignored or forgotten, but when I do speak up, I end up saying something inappropriate.  So should I speak or keep silent?  Well, I just told you the problem that occurs when I stay silent!

But you learn what you can.  If I can look back and identify things that I could have done better, that is good.  And maybe what would help me is not so much for me to rehash my mistakes in the past, but rather to read about or hear about better ways to do things.  As I Thessalonians 5:21 says (in the KJV), "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good."

I doubt that self-forgetfulness will happen, at least when it comes to my life.  I doubt that it can happen, for, of course, I think about myself and my tasks each day.  But I should work on ceasing to see myself as the center of the universe.  I shouldn't take myself so seriously.  Maybe I can be more interested in what is going on in other people's lives, whether we're talking about people in my family, or people online, or others with whom I come into contact.  In the words of Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."

Peck on Forgiveness

I started M. Scott Peck's Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth.  In my latest reading, one topic that Peck discussed was forgiveness.  According to Peck, some people act as if forgiveness is an easy task.  Peck refers to a "a very popular New Age book called Love Is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky, a fellow psychiatrist" (page 41), and Peck characterizes Jampolsky's position on forgiveness to be that we should not judge people but rather should seek out the good that is within them.  Peck believes that such an approach ignores the reality of evil.  For Peck, while there may be a reason that somebody hurt us, such as damage that he received during his childhood, his hurting us was still wrong.  Forgiveness is us acknowledging that the person who hurt us was wrong, and then choosing to forgive him.  As Peck says on page 42, "Only after a guilty verdict can there be a pardon."  It's a lot of hard work for us to forgive, according to Peck, and yet it is necessary, for unforgiveness is like us chewing our leg: we're hurting ourselves when we don't forgive.

Do I agree with Peck?  I'm not exactly in a position to critique what he says about forgiveness, for I know for sure that I'm not too good at forgiving people!  But I doubt that practicing what he says about forgiveness will help me to forgive.  I already know that people did me wrong.  My problem is that I revisit those wrongs in my mind over and over again, often imagining myself telling people off.

So what should I tell myself to help me to forgive?  Although I'm not good at forgiveness, some thoughts do help me better than others.  Trying to remind myself that we're all imperfect human beings in need of forgiveness helps me to have a better attitude towards others, including those who have done me wrong.  While that works (somewhat) for me, however, I'm not in any position to tell someone else (such as a victim of abuse) that it absolutely must work for him or her.  But, overall, I agree with Peck about what forgiveness is: recognizing that someone has done us wrong, and making a choice to let that go, to release its hold on us.