Wes Daughenbaugh. 21 Ways to Forgive: Plus Nine Reasons We Must Forgive. Redemption Press, 2016. See here to buy the book.
Wes Daughenbaugh is a teacher and an evangelist, whose ordination is
with the Assemblies of God. In this book, Daughenbaugh presents nine
reasons that people must forgive, followed by 21 suggested ways to
forgive. There are illustrations throughout the book that have a Mad Magazine sort of style.
The assets of the book are many. The illustrations help drive home
Daughenbaugh’s points. The book also has stories in which Daughenbaugh
demonstrates that he knows of what he speaks from personal experience
and struggle. The insights make sense. They encourage people to move
on from bitterness, to do good to others so as to have other memories
besides negative ones, and to hope that God will use the offender for
God’s benevolent purposes, as God used the apostle Paul, who had
persecuted Christians.
Overall, the book backs up its insights with Scripture. There are
biblical passages that discuss the health benefits of having a positive
attitude rather than an attitude of envy and bitterness, and passages
that encourage people to put away bitterness. One of Daughenbaugh’s
thoughts was uncomfortable, yet he did cite Scripture in support of it:
he said that unforgiveness could land a person in hell, citing Matthew
18:21-35 for support. In some cases, Daughenbaugh made somewhat of a
leap, even though aspects of his point are plausible, from a Scriptural
perspective. I think of his recurring argument that our pain is
treasured in heaven, and God may draw from that deposit to show mercy to
the offender or the offender’s descendants, such that the offender can
bless others. I can think of no Scripture that explicitly presents that
scenario, but the apostle Paul is an example of a wrongdoer whom God
used to bless others. (Daughenbaugh also acknowledges that God may send
judgment.) Sometimes, Daughenbaugh does not support his thoughts with
Scripture but rather with anecdote: he says, for example, that we should
not rebuke the devil because that could draw demons to us.
There were cases in which Daughenbaugh offered an interpretation of
Scripture that was new to me. For instance, according to Daughenbaugh,
when Paul said in Philippians 3:10-11 that he wants to be like Christ in
his death, he meant that he wanted to die “without angerness,
bitterness, or self-pity.”
Daughenbaugh writes from a certain perspective, one that is
charismatic. He believes that God has spoken to his heart, offering him
guidance and insights in certain situations. He also seems to believe
in temporal blessings and curses, on some level, which are related to
forgiveness and unforgiveness. (At least that was my impression, and I
am open to correction.) That made the book interesting to read, even if
I am unsure about the extent to which I agree or disagree. Granted,
Jesus does appear to connect the faith that moves mountains with
forgiveness in Mark 11:22-26. There are passages in the New Testament
epistles about bitterness being conducive to Satan’s activity, and about
the devil somehow influencing or working in people. But I wonder if
there are other (or additional) ways to interpret those passages than
what Daughenbaugh presents.
In terms of suggestions that I have, the book did omit an aspect of
interpersonal forgiveness that occurs in Scripture, and that is
confrontation of the offender (see Leviticus 19:17; Matthew 18:15).
Daughenbaugh did well to highlight Scriptures that exhort people not to
start quarrels or to insult others (i.e., Proverbs 17:14; Ephesians
4:29), and, indeed, that raises an important question: How can we rebuke
without telling a person off? Daughenbaugh should have wrestled with
this question. To his credit, he did present ways to develop an
attitude of love and compassion towards the person who offended. But
there are cases in which a person may be nice and helpful towards a
person, while hating that person inside of his or her heart, making the
outward love fake. In such cases, confrontation may be helpful and
healing, provided it is done right.
Another suggestion: Daughenbaugh should have offered some suggestions
about how a hurt person can go out and love and help others. That is
not intuitive to everybody. At the same time, Daughenbaugh did tell a
good story about how this particular insight (i.e., spiritual warfare by
loving others) worked in his own life.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher through Bookcrash. My review is honest!