I’m not really in the mood to write today. I read a lot of good
things. I reblogged some of them. One article, I’d like to share, but I
fear that it would offend a lot of people, and I am in no mood to
qualify things, or to explain where I agree with the article, and where I
disagree (or where I am supposed to disagree). Maybe I’m a wimp. Or maybe there is a limit on how authentic I as a blogger can be.
“Then why did you write today, James, if you’re not in the mood to
write?” Because this is a commitment I have made. When my next
blogging anniversary comes, I may pursue a different policy. I may just
focus on writing book reviews and my weekly quiet time readings through
biblical books. I’ve not been particularly comfortable blogging about
my church’s Bible study. The same goes for my church’s weekly service.
It has nothing to do with my level of enjoyment, for I actually enjoy
the latter. I just get tired of critiquing and analyzing, of asking
what I believe and why, of probing whether or not I am a true Christian,
of nitpicking Christianity, of asking where I agree or disagree with a
sermon or song. Often, I just want to let things and people be, without
offering my comment.
Plus, I am a pretty shy person nowadays, even online. I used to be
able to be vulnerable online. Nowadays, I’m reluctant to do so. One
reason is that I’m tired of writing the same stock posts about my
problems with Christianity. An internet troll once said that maybe my
problems would not look as bad to me, if I did not write about them all
the time. Well, to each his or her own! In this season, I’m inclined
to agree with the troll, at least when it comes to myself! (There I go,
always having to qualify what I am saying, always feeling as if I am
walking on eggshells!)