For my write-up today on Circle of Life: Traditional Teachings of Native American Elders, I'll comment on something that James David Audlin says on page 176:
"Sometimes,
however, adversity comes upon us because of the actions of others,
either their inadvertent mistakes or intentional malevolence. In the
case of the former we bear the results without anger because no harm was
intended, and remember that the person who made the mistake will learn
from seeing the sad results. In the case of the latter too, we respond
with patience. Many of us have had persons unjustly seek to impugn our
honor with attacks on our reputations. These experiences are not evil
but a wakan kind of good, for they strengthen us. Such
experiences help build up the 'muscles' of our spirit. So we are
foolish if we get angry or upset when such adversities come upon us.
Instead, we should be glad for them. Jesus teaches, similarly, that we
should love our enemies, and do good to those who would hurt us. Once I
heard a Vajrayana (Tibetan Buddhist) lama say, 'I am glad when people
persecute me! I give thanks to them for their generosity, because they
have given me this opportunity to learn better, through practice, the
sacred hearts of love and forgiveness.' He doubtlessly was thinking of
the teachings of Gadamba Geshay Langritangba, about nine centuries ago:
'When others out of jealousy treat me badly with abuse, slander and so
on, I will learn to take all loss and offer the victory to them. When
one whom I have benefited with great hope unreasonably hurts me very
badly, I will learn to view that person as an excellent spiritual
guide.' Though Jesus and the two Vajrayana teachers come out of very
different cultures, their understanding on this point is very similar to
that of the traditional peoples of this continent."
I should
clarify: Audlin does not believe that we should therefore hurt others to
help them to spiritually grow, for he says later in the book that harm
to others can knock things out of balance. But I do think that he has a
point that people who dislike us can provide us with opportunities to
grow spiritually. I have gotten upset about inadvertent mistakes, maybe
because I worry about getting lost in people's perception and people
not noticing me or remembering me, since being noticed and remembered is
one way that people today advance. Consequently, when I am
unintentionally slighted, I tend to beat up on myself, and I am also mad
at the person who slighted me. As far as being intentionally slandered
goes, I'm fortunate not to have experienced that (as far as I know!).
But I do get upset when people reject me.
Just speaking for
myself, forgiveness is easier said than done. I don't want to love my
enemies. But I know that taking revenge is not the answer, for it makes
things worse----for myself and also for others. One suggestion that
people have made is that I should pray for my enemy's well-being every
day for two weeks----that I should wish for him the same things that I
wish for myself----and then my resentment will go away. They testify
that this has occurred in their own lives. I usually have not had the
will to undertake such a task, for I do not want my enemies to prosper,
after they have hurt me (which is not to say that I will actively work
to undermine their prosperity, for I won't). But I can see how the task
could help to alleviate resentment, for it puts me into the position of
regarding my enemy as a human, with his or her own desires, hopes, and
fears. And I'm not praying that he might prosper while I do not, but
rather that both of us might prosper.
I do try to see any
affliction that I experience or feel as an opportunity for me to
exercise my spiritual muscles. Whenever I feel inward desolation, I see
that as an opportunity for me to pray and to read my Bible more, for
that relaxes me. I would rather attempt to alleviate my bitterness with
God's help rather than without it, for I myself am not a spiritual
giant. I'm not a Mohatma Gandhi, with the ability to transcend my
emotions through a regard for the well-being of humanity. I am where I
am. I'm sure that religionists could stand in line and tell me that's
not good enough, but the reality of where I am remains. I need God for
support as I seek to love others and to forgive.
A number of
Christians say that being in Christian community presents opportunities
for us to grow, as we get on each other's nerves. Perhaps. I tend to
think, though, that being in some communities is like beating a dead
horse. If you are in a community and you neither fit in nor find
acceptance, then I think that it's perfectly acceptable to try out
another community. No community will be perfect, but some may be less
toxic for you.