In my reading last night of Stephen King’s Lisey’s Story, a theme that came out was suppressing problems, as opposed to bringing them out into the open and talking about them.
On page 271, we read of Lisey’s thoughts about people having a “don’t think” zone: “She wonders sometimes if everyone has a curtain like that in their minds, one with a don’t-think zone behind it. They should. It’s handy. It saves a lot of sleepless nights.”
That reminded me of something that I read about Hillary Clinton a while back—-that she used to give advice to her daughter, Chelsae, about keeping out bad thoughts (i.e., resentment, etc.).
On page 297, we read the following, after Scott was telling Lisey how his father killed Scott’s brother, Paul, because Paul was going feral:
“I used to think trying that last time was how I got him killed. Right up until the night I thought that, but talking about it—-hearing myself talk about it—-has helped more than I ever would have believed. I guess psychoanalysts have got something about that old talking-cure stuff after all, huh?”
Scott blamed himself for his brother’s death, and he saw the situation that way for years—-until he actually talked about it with somebody else and got a different perspective.
Vocalizing a problem can be therapeutic. Talking through a muddled sense of melancholy can clarify things and hopefully make them less muddled, as we get clear ideas on what is disturbing us. Talking with somebody else about a problem can also be helpful, for that can reduce the scope of how we see the problem. I think of a scene in Stephen King’s The Stand, in which people in the Free Zone were carrying around dreadful nightmares about Randall Flagg, but the nightmares did not appear to be that big of a deal after they talked about them with each other and shared experiences.
Some would say that bottling up a problem is not a good thing, for then the problem can come out unexpectedly. I’ve heard real therapists say this. Going to a fictional realm, that’s also what Mike Delfino told his wife, Susan, in the current season of Desperate Housewives, once he learned that she helped bury Gabrielle’s abusive step-father, after Carlos killed him. Carlos himself is having a hard time dealing with this problem, for, in last week’s episode, he could have talked to someone from Alcoholics Anonymous about what was driving him to drink, but he chose not to do so—-and understandably so, since what he did was a crime (though I wonder if he could plead self-defense).
There can be disadvantages to talking a problem out, though—-if one does nothing else but talk about one’s problems, revisiting them, reliving past hurts, etc. For me personally, a “don’t think” zone is actually handy to have. But I have also felt some relief after talking about my problems with myself, and even greater relief after discussing them with somebody else—-especially when the other person gives me decent advice on how to cope, or how to address my problems, etc.