I said that I’d blog a lot on Adam McHugh’s Introverts in the Church, but I’ve failed to fulfill that promise. I’ve been tired! But the book is worth reading. I hope that every pastor will read it and take it to heart.
It would be nice if small-group leaders read it, too. As McHugh points out, so many evangelical small groups today allow a few extroverted people to dominate the discussion. Why not allow everybody to have his or her say, even the introverts who are reluctant to dive into a conversation? I mean, who’s to say that only the extroverted people have something valuable to offer? But McHugh raises a good point: the small-group leader needs to get to know the introverts in his group, so that he doesn’t call on them when they’re uncomfortable being put on the spot. In my opinion, there should be wisdom in bringing the voices of introverts into the discussion. Rather than calling on an introvert out of the clear blue sky—which is scary—why not establish a set time in which people can share? Or why not go around the room to give everyone a chance to say something?
Personally, one thing I hate is groups going around the room so that people can share what went on during their week. Granted, many consider that to be a good ice-breaker. I don’t like it, though, because not much goes on in my week. Maybe it would be better to go around the room and allow people to share what they want.
I liked another part of McHugh’s book, which discussed a church group of introverts that allows them to get to know one another. They build confidence in that group, as they are brought out of their shells. Several people act like introverts need to be thrown into the intense social atmosphere of extroverts, learning to cope with that. But why should we assume that introverts going into an intense social situation and falling flat on their face repeatedly is the best way to help them build social confidence? Maybe success at their own level is a confidence builder. Or being in an environment where they are welcomed and appreciated for who they are can bring them a little more out of their shell.
McHugh also makes an important point about youth leaders. He says that introverts can be effective youth pastors because they are able to invest deeply in the lives of the group members. One doesn’t have to be a circus-clown to be an effective youth pastor, for, as McHugh notes, the youth pastors we often remember are the ones who gave us their time and listened to us. Quiet and introverted people can do this. I shared this point with someone who’s applying for a ministry job. The pastor told him that he (the pastor) is looking for a youth pastor who is colorful. I told my friend that this pastor should read Introverts in the Church!
McHugh’s description of introversion was also good. He said that, after he and his friends see a spy movie, his friends are able to glibly discuss what went on in the film and the implications of aspects of the plot. He, however, is still processing the movie, so he doesn’t participate in the discussion. When he goes home and thinks about it, however, he notices aspects of the film that his extroverted friends missed. I identify with that.
McHugh talks about how he is social, even though he’s an introvert. That doesn’t completely resonate with me, since I have difficulties with social interaction. I feel no need to defend myself as socially-adept, however, when I know that such is not the case. But there are times when I can be fairly social around people I know, who actually like me and listen to what I have to say.
McHugh’s discussion of introverted preachers also resonated with me. McHugh said that introverted preachers tend to rely heavily on their prepared sermon text, and that inhibits them from connecting with their audience—through eye-contact and other important things. I got that same criticism when I preached sermons. But McHugh talked about how introverts can preach effectively without feeling that they have to be colorful and flamboyant. They can pause during a sermon and allow their audience to absorb what is being said (maybe even giving themselves a break in the process!). This advice may prove helpful, for I have a speaking engagement at the end of July.
I don’t remember if McHugh discussed sermon topics for introverted preachers. I personally struggled with this, for I didn’t like having to tell people from the pulpit to witness and reach out to others, when I wasn’t doing those things myself. But why can’t I just share with people the love of God from the pulpit? Jonathan Edwards was an introvert, and he meditated and preached about the attributes of God. That’s what I’d share were I to witness, anyway. So why can’t I preach that from the pulpit, rather than putting people on guilt-trips, as I tell them to do things that I don’t do?
BTW, according to McHugh, Martin Luther King, Jr. was a studious introvert, who often sat in the back of the row in his classes. I just thought that was worth pointing out!
McHugh also offers helpful advice on how introverts can join groups. According to McHugh, introverts can introduce themselves to the group leader, or someone who knows a lot of people. That person can then introduce the introverts to others in the group, allowing them to become more a part of the community.
I’ll probably be returning McHugh’s book to the library this coming Sunday. But I hope that I’ve given you a taste of how wonderful this book is.