There's a good discussion about homosexuality and Christianity going on at Rachel Held Evans' blog, under her post, Review: “Love is an Orientation” by Andrew Marin.
Both the post and the discussion are worth reading.
I left some comments there, but probably the person who came closest to how I've long felt about the issue is MonikaB, who states:
(I am probably not an evangelical, though I may still be a Christian in some sense, so I don't know how I would answer the question, Rachel. If it's ok to throw my ramblings in anyway ...)
This whole subject and how it has been handled is on the list of my biggest problems with the Christian church and religion.
I do not believe that all conservative Christians who think or suspect homosexual behavior is wrong are bigots or mindless sticklers for "being right". But, I do think that *many* (not all!) of them have refused to face the very painful implications of what they believe. Often in discussions when I see people of other viewpoints try to help a straight conservative imagine what it really is like for a gay person, the response is a token "Well ... yeah ... that sucks and it's super hard for them ... but that doesn't change what the Bible says and God will somehow make it all right and be there for them." Well, of course who's to say God couldn't do that, if they are right? But, but, but ... what does that look like? And here's where the conservative response often leaves off. And this won't do.
I must say all these comments so far ... are really, really encouraging. People are being open and kind and articulate.