Source: Jeff Golliher, A Deeper Faith: A Journey into Spirituality (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 2008) 71.
I picked up this book at the library a couple of weeks ago, and I've only gotten into it recently. Jeff Golliher is an anthropologist and an Episcopalian priest, and his book is a series of letters that he writes to a spiritual seeker. He advises the seeker to tell his family about his spiritual search, and the result was not exactly what the seeker was hoping for. Jeff then writes the following:
I must say it straight out: You have grossly misunderstood the meaning of your family discussion. I actually do agree with them, very much so, in fact. Their question--"What are you really looking for?"--is superb. You can resent it all you want, but this is exactly the right question, and they have every right to ask it. People are justifiably suspicious of religion these days (including you, I might add!) and your family only wants to know what the stirrings in your soul mean and where they might lead. Surely you can understand this. Besides, has it occurred to you that Jesus put this same question to his disciples? He did. Have you considered the possibility that the same Spirit is speaking through your family? I think you should. Questions, on the spiritual path, can be just as important as answers, perhaps even more so. Not only that, different versions of this very question have been echoing from them and me for several months. Now the Spirit has called it out into the open. And what have you done? You tell me that you dislike being tested. The only honest response I can give is simply this: "Get over it." Everyone is tested from time to time. Life is a test. Difficult situations arise; significant questions are asked; and we don't always do very well. Our egos are bruised. So?
I can somewhat identify with the seeker here. Here he is, all enthused about God, and people around him aren't taking his spiritual search all that seriously. They wonder what he's really looking for, as if his search for God is not truly a search for God. In their eyes, his search must be for something else.
You know, a life of faith would be so much easier if I didn't have to interact with people, and I could live in solitude with my warm, fuzzy feelings about God. But real life is not like that, for there are people in the world who ask all sorts of questions about me and my religion. "What's with all this God-stuff?" "Why do you want to be baptized? Have you truly repented of your sins?" "How do you know there really is a God? It looks to me like you're reaching the conclusions you want to reach!" "Why does God allow bad things to happen?" "That sounds a little sarcastic. I'm sure Jesus would have a different approach!" Then there are those who smile at me when I say something religious, as if I'm being naive and cute.
Often, I feel as if my faith is on the defensive, with things that challenge the veracity of the biblical revelation--evolution, archaeology not always seeming to square with the Bible, biblical contradictions, real life. Sure, there are scientists and biblical scholars who are more conservative and pro-Christian, but seriously. Did God intend for the entire legitimacy of the Christian religion to depend on them coming along to enlighten us?
But is it possible that God is actually somewhere in all of these questions? I'm not necessarily saying that I should accept every put-down as the voice of God (accountability), but is there something that I can learn from the put-down?
I also appreciate Jeff's statement that it's okay for us to fail. A lot of times, religionists act as if failure puts us outside of the realm of God's love. But we can also learn from failure, and that can be good.