Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Messy Relationships

I'm trying to reach ninety posts for this month, so here we go! Maybe I'll share some of my blues in the process.

I was catching up on the Waltons yesterday, and I was reminded of how messy human relationships can be. John-Boy wanted to marry this one girl, but she wasn't ready for marriage. One of Grandma's old friends was coming to court her, and Grandma didn't love him the way that he loved her.

Then, I read a friend's blog in which he discusses his recent break-up with his girlfriend. He thought things were going well, until his girlfriend dumped him. They were going to be friends, but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with him. He's wondering if he did something wrong, since his Asperger's may inhibit him from knowing when he may have offended her.

What really stinks is that our feelings do not go away. Grandma's friend was rejected, but he still loved her. I wouldn't be surprised if my friend feels his heart's been ripped out of his body. He spent a lot of time with this girl, and she helped him to grow. When you form an attachment to someone, it's hard to let that person go. How's anyone supposed to handle rejection?

It's also discouraging to me that so many attractive women fall for losers, when there are plenty of nice guys out there. The only problem is that women don't give these nice guys the time of day! I recall an episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry said, "Women wonder where all the men are. We're here!"

You know, even if I had a relationship, I wouldn't know what to do next. There's so much insecurity in relationships! I could get dumped for inadvertently offending someone, or because the woman likes to play games, or because I can't come up with anything to say in the relationship.

I tried to think how I would react if I were John-Boy. "I want you to marry me NOW!" would not go too far. People are not always going to act as we want them to act. That's a truth that I have a hard time swallowing.