This will be a two-parter, and I will write the second part on Sunday.
My impression is that a lot of people wouldn't ask this question. "Of course God loves me!" they would say. But this is a question with which I have struggled. In this series, I will offer some biblical answers, my reservations, and how I deal with my doubts.
1. I know God loves me because Christ died for my sins.
This is a biblical answer. Paul says in Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." I John 4:10 states, "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." One approach to this issue would be to say, "The Bible affirms that God loves the world, and I am part of the world, therefore God must love me." But Calvinists will point out that words like "all" and "world" in the Bible do not always refer to each and every individual. When Mark 1:5 says that all went to the Jordan to be baptized by John, for example, it probably doesn't mean everybody, since there are other passages that mention Jews who were critical of John (e.g., Matthew 11:18).
Consequently, most Calvinists argue that Christ did not die for each and every individual but for the elect, whom God chose before the world's foundation. So how can I be sure that God loves me? How can I know that I am part of the elect? Different authors have addressed the question of assurance. Some say that the Holy Spirit speaks to the Christian's heart (Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6). Others contend that the truly elect person will produce fruit of the Spirit, which includes love of God and others (I John 2:3-4; 3:14). I have problems with these criteria. I do not always feel assured of God's love, and I'm not sure when the Holy Spirit is speaking to me and when the thoughts are just mine. Add to that the possibility of false assurance, which Calvinists like to posit. This only compounds the problem, since, even if I do feel assurance, how can I know that the assurance is legitimate? Also, if my assurance of God's love depends on the quality of my lifestyle, then I can't have assurance. There are good things that I do, but I also have bad thoughts, feelings, and actions (sins of omission and commission). So Calvinism doesn't offer me much hope, even though some of its assurance tests are biblical.
2. I know God loves me because he created me.
Job appeals to this in Job 10:3, where he says to God, "Is it good unto thee that thou shouldest oppress, that thou shouldest despise the work of thine hands, and shine upon the counsel of the wicked?" When the Israelites appeal to God for mercy in Isaiah 64:8, they affirm, "But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand." The Psalmist prays to God, "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands" (Psalm 138:8). Psalm 145:9 seems to acknowledge God's goodness to all of his creation, for it states, "The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works." So there is a thread in the Bible that assumes God cares for what he has created, simply because he created it. Don't most of us value the things we have made? This view in the Bible reminds me of a sign I've seen on more than one occasion: "I know I'm somebody, cause God don't make no junk!"
But I have reservations about this, again because of Calvinism. Paul says in Romans 9:21-22 that God can create some vessels specifically for wrath and destruction. So does the fact that God created something mean that he must love, value, and care for it? Not necessarily, if Calvinists are reading this passage correctly.
The way that I deal with this issue is to look at Romans 9 in the context of Romans 9-11. Paul is talking about Israel and the Gentiles. In Romans 11, Paul says that most Jews have been hardened toward the Gospel so that more Gentiles can have the opportunity to believe. But Paul is optimistic that, at some point in time, all Israel will be saved. So we see that God's hardening of the Jews, which is the topic of Paul's discussion in Romans 9, serves the ultimate purpose of expanding the number of saved people, not contracting it. What, then, does Paul mean when he refers to the vessels of destruction? I think he is saying that God demonstrated his wrath against sin through his punishment of the nation of Israel, which occurred in 70 C.E. I may be wrong, but my impression is that Paul does not apply Romans 9:21-22 to every sinner or non-Christian, as if they are creations that God does not value. But, then again, God actually does value the actual referents of Romans 9:21-22, the nation of Israel, for God will save it some day in the future.
So how can I be sure that God loves me? Because he wants to expand the number of saved people, and I assume that he includes me in that program.